Habits are second nature to humans. It is very difficult to break habits, especially when they develop over the course of a long-term relationship.
But some habits can break even strong bonds and alienate the most loving partners from each other.
Here are six of the most annoying habits psychologists say can play a trick on you. Be sure to pay attention to them and, if possible, eradicate them in order to preserve the relationship.
1. Wait for initiative from a partner
It is a mistake to believe that you should be primarily focused on waiting for initiative from your partner. In any case, it was precisely this tactic of behavior that was instilled in many girls in childhood.
“A man should be the first to take steps” - that's how we are used to. And, following this advice, they constantly waited for the initiative from a potential partner.
However, if you stick to this strategy all your life, you can end up developing a habit of constant expectation.
And even when you already have a permanent relationship, it will be difficult for you to eradicate it.
Not only does this habit prevent you from enjoying life normally and fulfilling your own needs (whether in a new or long-term relationship), it can also send the wrong signals to your partner, who will simply think that you are not interested in your current relationship.
To counteract this bad habit of eternal waiting, try to take the initiative at least occasionally. This way, you will feel more control over your own destiny.
Think back to the times when, by taking the initiative, you reaped the benefits of positive results. This psychological tactic will best motivate you to do something.
The same goes for your relationship. Think about when you took action and the result benefited you. This may be enough to make you feel like you are able to manage your relationship normally.
The results will probably surprise you, because your partner will be very happy to see you show initiative and some action.
2. Constantly argue about the same things
In fact, arguing about the same things is a very annoying habit.
Regular arguments and disagreements can ruin even the strongest relationships.
Perhaps, with depressing accuracy, you are always right. Disagreeing with your partner about a particular day-to-day job or responsibilities leads to constant fights. It should be remembered that it is always better to make compromises with your significant other.
Try to find a time when you can calmly talk about your concerns, and together come up with a plan for how to deal with the problem.
For example, you constantly have arguments about who should cook or wash the dishes and when. Set aside time for discussion, sit down, take your time, make a schedule, make small changes to your daily routine.
If both of you decide that the decision you made is fair, that consensus in the end will lead to the desired result, and then the controversy will disappear. The main thing is to go towards each other.
If everyone continues to pull the blanket over themselves, nothing will work out, arguments will arise again and again, and, ultimately, lead to quarrels and a break in relations.
3. Take your partner for granted
Perhaps the most common habit in a long-term relationship is to take a partner for granted.
What's wrong with that? In a way, taking your partner for granted is a good sign, because it means that you and your partner feel like you can rely on each other completely.
It's nice to know that, to some extent, your partner can withstand your occasional outbursts of anger or irritation, or that you can change clothes in front of him without shame or embarrassment.
However, very often this attitude towards a partner plays a cruel joke in a relationship. For example, in some situations, when you need to thank for your help and just say thank you or praise your soul mate for the work done, you don't.
And all because you take his words, actions for granted.
Try to change this attitude, take the time to thank him and sometimes praise him. Let your significant other know that he (she) means a lot to you, and you appreciate his (her) support.
4. Be too serious
Perhaps you might find yourself laughing and having fun with friends or coworkers outside the home more than you do when you are with your partner.
The preoccupation with family affairs, dissatisfaction with work, low wages and other things makes many forget that there are simple moments of joy. But sometimes things happen that are funny and you just need to laugh at him.
If you do this with anyone other than your partner, this is not a good sign for both of you.
A familiar routine can become easier if you start laughing together and heartily. Scientific research shows that laughter prolongs a person's life, and laughter with your loved one strengthens relationships, making them stronger and more trusting.
If you feel like your relationship lacks good jokes, laughter, and a little spark, it might be worth working on the situation.
Go to a romantic comedy together, or watch a movie at home in the evening after a delicious dinner, cooked together and always with love.
5. Dine and Dinner Not Together
The modern way of life, its fast and hasty pace lead to the fact that we do not always have time to have lunch or dinner in normal conditions with our family and friends.
As a result, the daily inconsistency of charts leads to the fact that we rarely see each other, devote little time to each other. But it's so great to have lunch and dinner together.
If you are not already living with your partner, making time for joint plans becomes even more difficult. It’s so great to go out for dinner or cook together.
Try to do this at least occasionally. To break the habit of eating separately, go out to a restaurant at least once a week or host dinner at one of your partners' premises.
By the way, when you are together, also get rid of another very bad habit - constantly sitting on your phone and distracted from a pleasant conversation.
Play some relaxing music and enjoy each other's company. If your partner prepared a meal, be sure to thank for this and note that everything was delicious and you really enjoyed it.
6. Spend too much time on mobile phones and other gadgets
Modern gadgets both simplify our life and complicate it. More precisely, the relationships of people living in the 21st century have become much more confusing thanks to mobile phones and the Internet.
MIT professor Sherry Turkle argues that we are losing the ability to talk to each other. Thus, even when we are close to our partner, we are often far from each other.
Paying attention to our electronic devices, we do not notice what is happening around us, forgetting about the closest ones, including our soulmate.
We start to keep in touch and communicate through texts and status updates, forgetting sincere live communication. And when we are next to our partner, out of habit, we begin to immerse ourselves in our mobile phones and tablets.
But this behavior does not imply anything other than distracting attention from the people around you.
The advice would be this: when you are together, give yourself a break from any electronic devices. Spend time with your family and loved ones.
If you are more interested in making time on your phone than spending time with your partner, that could be a symptom of a serious problem in your relationship.
And if so, try to work on the problem that has arisen, and not continue to devote precious time to online chats, virtual games and other dubious joys that distract us from much more enjoyable things.