How do you know if the person you are dating really suits you?
For many of us, modern dating is like running through a minefield. There are so many unwritten rules that it is very easy to break one of them. And here is a person who you really liked, suddenly sends you to ignore, and you sit and reflect on his last phrases, trying to figure out what you did wrong. And even when you have already started dating someone, the problems do not end. You are constantly gnawed by doubts, were you not mistaken with the choice, what if your ideal is waiting for you somewhere else?
When is it time to stop? Experienced psychologists share tips on how to determine that this is "your" person.
1. They pass the "bar test"
When you and a new partner come to a bar (cafe, restaurant), listen to yourself. Are you looking around for fear that someone might notice you together? Or, on the contrary, do you want everyone to see you? If the latter is true, then your partner has passed the bar test. If not, think about your choice again.
2. They don't keep you as an "alternate airfield"
A person who truly admires you will not overshadow you. One form of unhealthy relationships is the "sabotage" of one partner in relation to another. It is unlikely that you need it.
3. They're not trying to change you.
Listen to the signals from your heart called intuition. She can send alerts. If a partner does not accept you for who you are, but tries to change, this is a sign of a controlling personality. He will never treat you differently.
4. They fit into your environment
A good sign that someone is right for you is if you can imagine them in other situations in your life. Does he get along with your friends and family? Do you get along with his loved ones? Do you have common interests that can form the basis of future mutual understanding? If the answer is yes, then you are on the right track.
5. They listen to you
One of the signs of a suitable partner is that he / she shows a genuine interest in your life and your words, and also remembers what you said. If, on the contrary, you are given only the role of a listener, it is unlikely that such a person is interested in communicating with you. And it will only get worse.
6. If you are happy, they are happy too.
This is really important if you enjoy bringing joy to each other. In those couples where the interests of the partner are placed on a par with their own or higher, the relationship is stronger than where everyone pursues only their own goals.
7. If you are upset, they support you.
One of the main indicators is how a person behaves in those moments when you are in sadness, in tears, at the peak of emotions. Do they sympathize? Show attention by postponing their affairs? Trying to console or just hug? It seems that it is simple, but says a lot about the person. If he / she criticizes your emotional outburst, believing that you are overreacting, this is worth paying attention to. Perhaps later you yourself will decide that you did not respond appropriately, but it is very important to understand whether your partner is listening to your mood.
8. They don't cross the line
Being aware of boundaries is very important. A healthy relationship requires the ability to resolve conflicts without killing each other. An argument is more of an opportunity to feel how your partner's brain is working and to learn from each other, moving in the same direction.
9. The balance is in their favor
When your head is shrouded in the mist of love, the quiet voice of intuition is easy to miss. Ask yourself the question "What would I put in first place if I wanted to understand what is wrong?" This will help your intuition to wake up. You might have ten on your list of weaknesses in your partner and a thousand on your list of strengths, but allow yourself to think carefully about those ten. If you think that you can put up with them, then everything is fine, continue to love.