Sexual naming: what-what did you call me ?!

"Pussy", "chick" and "my woman": something about intimate nicknames and how men talk about their women when they talk about them.

My friend, who also writes, for one of her books once conducted a survey among adult sexually active men - she was interested in what they call women's breasts and buttocks. In the text, she had a macho character, she wanted to choose the most reliable vocabulary, so she turned not to young porn dreamers or lustful old theorists, but to acting sexually mature males.

The answers stunned both of us. These parts of the body are most often referred to as "boobies" and "ass".

We tried to remember the last time we used the word "butt" differently than when applied to babies and parrots. Maybe it was about cucumbers? And what do we call our own breasts? So we call it - the chest. Or even boobs.

It seems to me that women in their right mind do not lisp about their bodies, this is the same bad form as "I eat." If you come across a text from a woman's face, where the author writes "boobs", you are most likely reading a porn story concocted by a man - close this tab and run the antivirus.

It is also rare for women to give special names to their vagina, probably because they rarely talk to it.

All these monstrous "pussies" and "girls" are a product of the male imagination. And I'm not even sure that slobbering idiots come up with them, although this is exactly what it looks like. Just remember how you communicate with your cat, and a lot will become clear. What if they feel the same degree of affection at the sight of women? (But personally I cannot imagine it).

There is another interesting aspect of sexual naming. It is quite natural that loving people come up with affectionate nicknames for each other, which usually remain inside the couple - all these bunnies, birds, dolls and eggplants. But how do you need to call your lady when talking about her to third parties?

I tried to classify men by what they call their women when telling other people about them. Here's what happened (do I need to remind you that this determinant is not universal?):

Girl - young uncles often say this about their girlfriends. “My girlfriend” may be well over thirty, but the uncle is still noticeably older, so he diligently emphasizes her youth. "Women" for them are not status and are not sexual by definition.

Chick and other slang words - both very young marginalized, and, conversely, old, but wanting to be in trend. The latter still use outdated expressions like "dude", they don't know anything about the current slang. You can find their posts on Facebook, where they are terrified to find out what "chan" is, because they just learned the word "chika", and here it is again.

Beloved - say husbands, who in every possible way emphasize their marriage. Often they are wrong. I do not know why it turns out this way, but it is with this word on the lips that they deceive most often.

Girlfriend - those who want to look free while masking the relationship. Kind of like they're just "friends with sex" or even without. Outside women easily fall into this trap - hearing the mention of a friend, it is difficult to assume that it is about a girl with whom a man has been living for three years.

Half - gives off some kind of everyday vulgarity. Maybe these are quite decent people, but for some reason I see a dork in a T-shirt who scratches his belly and tells stupid jokes. This is probably my personal linguistic snobbery.

Virgo, a young lady are cautious guys who want to demonstrate a slight irony to their lady and, just in case, hint that they are open to everything new. “There is one maiden, but…” - and in this ellipsis there is a place for one more little connection. Which will not cancel either the maiden or the young lady anyway.

Women are hyper-responsible men, sometimes quite young. "My woman" is a title, a position and a sentence. Sometimes it is quite pleasant to be their woman, but more often it is troublesome, as if you are standing on a pedestal, and on one leg.

Wife, spouse - it means that they have it forever. For your sake, he will definitely not divorce, and even if you can seduce such a husband, he will make you learn that "family is sacred." You are not. And new spouses like to emphasize their status in such a way, but this passes quickly.

My, my woman is a deliberately simplified version. Sometimes quite decent people joke like that, so do not rush to change your face. Perhaps this couple is doing great.

By name - the best case, in my opinion, the healthiest and most respectful. A man has a connection with a specific woman, he does not hide her and, perhaps, loves.

And yet, do not rush to hand out diagnoses and hang labels when you hear some awkward word. Many people have a difficult relationship with the Russian language, sometimes so intimate and bizarre that it is impossible to understand from the outside. After all, men also forgive silent people,