Many women who are just about to become mothers are sure that a child and work is as easy and simple as morning coffee in your favorite cafe. They dream of putting on a beautiful blouse, putting the baby in a backpack, and waving a package of documents, they will run to the office. And then, with an undisguised sense of pride, they will tell at various parties that they have not spent a single day at home on maternity leave.
Some are sure that the baby, barely born, will quietly lie in a beautiful sling right up to kindergarten, and the mother will relax on a massage and manicure on weekends. At three months, of course, a nanny will come, so that at six my mother can certainly go to work. And a modern mother does not talk about the contents of her child's diaper and looks like this: a luxurious maxi dress, fish and broccoli for lunch, the perfect look.
But if you are planning to become a mother in the near future, then prepare yourself for the fact that all articles in magazines, advertisements, parting words and advice are lies. Forget perfectionism and work for your own good. What are the myths of modern society that still live, it is necessary to say goodbye forever?
Myths about motherhood
Only with the arrival of a child does life finally gain meaning.
A young mother, spinning circles with a screaming stroller, will probably remember the thought, read in some magazine, that life without a child has no meaning, she is stupid and ugly, and after giving birth you think how good your life was. In fact, of course, it is not getting worse, on the contrary.
It's just that now everything will be completely different. Yesterday you were a wife, girlfriend, daughter, neighbor, and today you are already a mother. Yesterday you were stuck in the supermarket to choose between strawberry and blueberry yogurt, and today you take the first ones you come across and hurry home, because a little dear person is waiting for you there. But here it is more likely not about the meaning of life, but about unconditional love, about infinite unconditional love, like the Universe.
The baby sleeps most of the time
On any forum of mothers, there will definitely be one who will say that her baby ate and slept well for up to six months, and she calmly lay with a book and ate fruit. But she will be the only one among a huge number of less fortunate mothers, whose children only ate and shouted for the first months of their lives.
It happens that children sleep only at night, and during the day they do not calm down even in a stroller traveling on paving stones, although it is believed that in such conditions, babies fall asleep perfectly. Mothers sleep and see that their child at least occasionally behaves like a toddler in an advertisement in order to relax a little and have time to take a decent photo.
It often happens that parents take turns endlessly carrying the baby in their arms, performing the entire existing musical repertoire, including a vacuum cleaner and a hairdryer, downloading bird trills and sounds of the forest from the Internet. From time to time, mom may even break loose and go to the kitchen to cry. However, by trial and error, parents still find a way to calm their offspring. Someone falls asleep to the sound of water from the tap, someone will suit the song coming from their favorite toy, and someone will be quite satisfied with the trills of birds.
Upon arrival from the hospital, you need to forget about household chores, and sleep with the child and feed him
There are so many breastfeeding consultants today. But they often give advice that is incompatible with the reality of modern women. This one is exactly like that. However, for a newly-made mother, such advisors are very dangerous, because, having just returned from the hospital, she is an extremely insecure, suspicious and anxious creature.
In some mothers, anxiety is generally off scale, and they perceive any grimace of the child as a symptom of some illness, wake up many times at night to check if the baby is breathing. And if the child spits up somehow wrong, then such a mother can call an ambulance.
It is at such times that the breastfeeding consultant is usually announced and begins to overwhelm with advice. He can tell you about women from African tribes, whose children do not part with their mother's breast until they are five years old, and about the fact that it is necessary to feed the baby at the first squeak, and about much more.
And since the baby's squeak happens quite often and not always because of hunger, the young mother begins to feed the baby uncontrollably, turning into a dairy and overfeeding the baby. Feed at least no more than once every two hours, often ventilate the room and do not wrap the baby in several blankets, because many reputable doctors are right that the cause of infant colic is overheating and overfeeding.
Swaddling is a yesteryear and a relic that kills a baby's personality
The anti-diaper movement originated in Europe, where pediatricians oppose changing babies. They believe that this process has an extremely negative impact on the development of children. This is actually a lie. Development, especially parental development, will be inhibited by the lack of normal sleep and the constant screams of newborns who are put to sleep in beautiful sleepsuits. If your baby is unable to fall asleep due to the fact that he regularly wakes himself up with pens, then be sure to swaddle. If for the same reason he constantly wakes up, then swaddle too. It actually works.
Sleeping and sleeping together are two guarantees of a happy motherhood
This is also very often talked about by breastfeeding consultants. In reality, this is not suitable for everyone. Many babies simply don't recognize a sling. As for sleeping together, some mothers simply cannot sleep near their baby, because the baby either temporarily moves to his crib, or remains there permanently.
It also happens that after a while the child begins to sleep with his parents, then even opponents of joint sleep give way, the main thing is that everyone should get enough sleep. In general, the bottom line is that there is no universal advice because no children are alike. No need to desperately adhere to a theory, choose from each one that applies to your realities.
After childbirth, the figure cannot be restored
All the plump and swollen women who complain that they have become like caterpillars after giving birth, in fact, simply shift the blame for their laziness and for eating fast food on the shoulders of the baby. Most likely, such women were like this before pregnancy.
If you ate properly and played sports, or at least were not inclined to be overweight, then about a year after the appearance of the baby, you will return to your previous forms, of course, if you do not overeat pies at night. Of course, taking care of yourself will be a little more difficult, and on the Internet you will not look for a pedicure master, but find out the reasons for the incomprehensible color of the stool in the baby. But this is temporary.
Newborn baby wrinkled, red and ugly
Perhaps there is nothing more beautiful than your newly born baby. When you look into his eyes, you will see universal wisdom and infinity there, and when they put him on your stomach, it will seem to you that this is the happiest moment in your life.
A newborn and work are quite compatible things.
Compatible only if there is a nanny and a job for which this sacrifice will be more or less justified. But what is guided by a woman who immediately after giving birth seeks to return to work? They say it's fashionable. But is it really fashionable to run away from the hospital to work? It is fashionable to be close to your child, to see how he grows. This time will pass very quickly, enjoy it.
Women often follow the example of celebrities or business women. However, just give up your illusions, because you are not an artist or a busy business woman. The marketing department will somehow live without you, the child will not.
You can forget about travel after the appearance of the baby
Only those who have sat on the couch before the birth of the child think so. An active mom will always find a way to see new places or bask on a beach. What's more, you now see the world through the eyes of your new person sitting next to you in a car seat or sling. Now you no longer want to travel without your baby, because his presence is natural in your life.
A young mother is an angel glowing with happiness
The mother never ceases to be human. She may have a bad mood, lack of sleep, headache, and even depression. No need to strive for the ideal, or want to be like a cute acquaintance walking with a stroller. You didn't see how happy she was yesterday when her husband went for a walk with the stroller and left her alone with sushi and a glass of wine.
You can often see young mothers walking with their children in fashionable strollers, and heart-rendingly shaking them with tears. Do you think such mothers are bad? No, they were just tired. There will always be difficult moments. But did anyone ever say that raising a child is easy? But it will definitely be your best project.