Being a good girl is good, and being a bad girl is bad. Well, that's how it counts. In fact, exactly the opposite: good girls quickly burn out from the inside, and only a beautiful shell remains of them. Because a good girl is sure that she will be loved only as long as she is good. Bad girls don't think so. Bad girls have a lot to learn.
Reasonable selfishness, of course. The main problem of a good girl is the desire to be good for everyone. A good girl thinks that she can only be loved if she is helpful and sweet enough. So a good girl doesn't just think about others first - she doesn't think about herself at all. She has no time, and she has no strength for it. Which, in general, is not surprising, because a good girl does not just strive to fulfill the wishes of others, she tries to guess them. The bad girl thinks about herself first. This is a completely natural mechanism that will work for the good, if you do not try to break it and make it spin in the other direction. Because if you think about yourself first, you have enough resources for others. On the contrary, it doesn't work. If you think only of others, there will be nothing left for yourself.
A bad girl is very good at distinguishing between important things and things that she doesn't care about. The bad girl does not register on the hunter forum to tell local patrons about how cruel people they really are. The bad girl does not take the last thousand rubles from her wallet to buy a pack of food for the cat shelter. The bad girl does not get involved in online battles on the subject of "Who is to blame and what to do?" The good girl does all this, and she also goes to protests against cruelty to chickens: do you know how they suffer in their cages? The question is, why is this bad? The fact that a good girl is emotionally drained, acutely reacting to every instance of injustice in this vast world. The bad girl is most likely helping someone too. Addressable. And at the same time, she understands that her modest strength will not be enough for more. Well, because that's the reality. And if you deeply experience all such stories, then you will not have enough strength for this either. And no matter what.
tell people no. A good girl can't do it. She might have wanted to, but she tried it a couple of times and decided it wasn't worth it. Because a good girl will first refuse someone, and then she will begin to worry: did she not offend a good person in vain? Or maybe you could agree? And what will they think of her now? This endless inner monologue is fertile soil for feelings of guilt. In a good girl, it grows to such a size, so pressures that it is literally impossible to breathe under it. Therefore, the next time a good girl agrees with anyone, on any issue, just to avoid these nightmarish experiences. The problem is that she will still have to worry, but for a different reason: it is obvious that a person who is not able to refuse anyone will sooner or later get into trouble.
Oh, this terrible conflict! How can people think? Yes, yes, the very people, in front of whom the bad girl opens her mouth and says bluntly: go to the forest, dear fellow citizens. Right now. Alive! A good girl cannot understand this in any way. Well, that is, she pretends that she does not understand. When a good girl is offended, she silently swallows it, and then comes home and begins to replay the situation endlessly. Wow, she would answer! Eh, she would have stamped a boor with such words. And then I cut it along the ridge with an umbrella - for better assimilation of information. But this analysis of the conflict after the fact does not help the girl in any way, because after it a session of self-flagellation begins: you only know how to wave your fists after a fight, well, you and a rag! Here's something a good girl says to herself, and as a result, a trifling everyday conflict swells to the size of a local catastrophe. Which, of course, doesn't add peace of mind.
From the outside, a good girl looks much more independent than a bad one. She probably did an excellent job at school (and her mother did not have to stand over her all evening to force her to do her homework), she herself entered the university and graduated brilliantly. And she definitely has a job, and a good one. The problem is that the good girl achieved all this not because she wanted to, but because it was necessary. Must. This very sense of duty sometimes lifts good girls to some unattainable heights. From which they then fall, breaking their spine. Because we are so arranged: we can do something for a long time and fruitfully only if we get pleasure from it. If not, we go for a while on the exhaust: "Here, what a fine fellow I am, I do what I have to!", Cutting out crumbs of pleasure from there, and then - that's it. The motor stalls. Hello depression! A bad girl at some point decides for herself what she would like. She will not listen to her mother, husband or girlfriend. She will choose her own path and be happy. And if not, at least she will not regret not having tried what she wanted. And the absence of regrets is also happiness. Which, in fact, we are all striving for. So it goes.