Each of us, sooner or later, is faced with unfulfilled hopes, expectations, betrayal and bitter experiences.
Resentment often does not allow people to enjoy life, create and dream, the latter become withdrawn from mental pain and the severity of betrayal.
In this article, we will tell you how to throw off the heavy burden of resentment from your shoulders and start enjoying life again, because we have one.
Why is it hard for people to forgive
Many believe that by forgiving a person, they allow him to do the same thing again, as if there really was no betrayal. Those who have experienced betrayal cannot and, most importantly, do not consider it necessary to forgive the offender.
In fact, everything is much simpler, and statistics show that such judgments are fundamentally wrong. It is very important to understand that we forgive not for the good of the offender, but for ourselves. We do this in order to get rid of the heavy burden of resentment and heartache. Having let go of this load, we can breathe deeply again.
Another reason people find it difficult to forgive is the belief that by forgiving, they are betraying themselves, their principles, and their dignity. Many people find that letting go makes them vulnerable.
Mental pain, feelings of bitterness and resentment can persist in a person's thoughts for many years, making his life dull and difficult. He begins to feel like a victim. Such feelings evoke emotions that harm the human body, but in no way protect it. A person closes in himself and pain gradually absorbs him. How to learn to live anew after suffering an offense?
Why Learning to Forgive is Important
Many medical studies show that there is a direct link between forgiving and human health. Chronic anger, for example, keeps the body under constant strain, adversely affecting heart rate, blood pressure, and immunity. As a result of these changes, the risk of developing depression, cardiovascular disease and diabetes increases, in addition to many other unpleasant consequences.
However, the ability to forgive significantly reduces the level of stress, anxiety, depression, allows you to build new pleasant and healthy relationships with people, has a beneficial effect on the heart, lowers blood pressure, neutralizes physical pain, improves sleep, and much more. According to statistics, forgiveness allows a person to recover faster after a hurt.
Until we learn to forgive, we will suffer much more than our offender. Emotions that overwhelm us can become so uncontrollable that they begin to interfere with our relationships with loved ones. Only by being able to forgive can we truly get rid of mental pain, anger and live a free, happy life, because negative emotions have a detrimental effect on health and do not allow us to enjoy truly beautiful things.
As we forgive, we become freer. This does not mean that the offender will escape punishment - sooner or later it will overtake him, and you will be able to live fully and happily. The ability to forgive requires a person of great courage, courage and willpower, but everyone can free themselves from the burden of negative emotions.
How to forgive the offender
"Forgiveness is a conscious decision, a state of mind and soul that needs to be worked on day in and day out." Here are some simple steps anyone can take to forgiveness.
1. Become one with your emotions
Think about where and in what state you are at the moment. Drop all prejudices and be honest with yourself. Don't judge yourself or blame yourself for what happened, but take what is happening responsibly and seriously. Try not to make rash decisions. In order to clarify thoughts and sort out thoughts, you can write them and your feelings on a piece of paper - it will be much easier for you to organize the mess in your head.
After you have written down your thoughts and feelings, think about what you can do on your own in this moment to get rid of them or ease your state of mind. In order to master emotions and cheer up, it is not necessary to take global measures - you can, for example, go for a walk, get some fresh air to calm down and move on to the next points with a fresh mind.
In addition, you can spend several hours alone with nature or engage in creativity: drawing, painting various elements, creating patterns, music. You can write a letter or even ask for help from a loved one or, in extreme cases, to a specialist.
2. Let go of the past
One of the most important steps to forgiveness and a happy life is learning to let go of the past and live in the present, even though the experience is traumatic. Often we drag the past with us, not noticing that it is pulling us down, blocking our path to freedom. In the absence of regular training in the ability to let go of the past, we become hostages of our emotions and accumulate negative thoughts that turn into chaos. They cloud our minds and prevent us from seeing things soberly.
In order to start living in the present, train yourself to see the beauty in the little things. To begin with, you can go to the park, close your eyes and listen to the world around you. Every sound, every smell is beautiful in its own way. Learn to notice the beauty in the rustling of leaves and the scent of rain.
Another easy way to let go of the past is to keep a journal. It's much easier to organize your thoughts on paper. There you can also answer the questions asked to yourself in expanded form, as if to an invisible interlocutor - "Who would I be without anger, resentment, pain and desire for revenge?", "How would my life have changed then?"
3. Get your strength back
It is not so easy to start life completely from scratch, but it is much easier to start writing a new, own story. Remember that you were not born a victim, which means you can fix it. It is worth noting that forgiveness is not an isolated case, but a long process that requires work. In addition, you should understand one simple truth - no one has the right to burden you with resentment and negative emotions.
When the painful feelings return, remind yourself that you are the one choosing the opportunity to forgive the person. You give him forgiveness, because this is your decision, it is in your hands, you are in control of the situation and it is you who choose love, kindness and light.
The desire to change the situation must come from within. It appears when, and only when, we understand that love, happy relationships and a bright life are our personal right from birth.
4. Learn the lesson
There is a valuable lesson to be learned from any experience we have. Sometimes this experience can be painful, however, as we all know, what does not kill us - makes us stronger. Even if we consider what happened to be a complete injustice, it strengthens us both physically and mentally, allowing us to find new ways out of various situations.
In addition, such incidents reveal the true nature of both those around us and ourselves. In a stressful situation, a person begins to behave in a completely different way, and, having understood the reason and essence of his own behavior, one can learn to control it.
5. Give love and light
After you take the first steps outlined above, you can find the strength to give people warmth and love again. It is quite difficult, but this approach will fundamentally change your life. Instead of radiating hate and sadness, start loving and giving warmth. You will immediately notice that your soul has become much easier.
Also, learn to forgive yourself. Stop chasing unjustified expectations and don't blame yourself for what happened. It is not your fault that you have been betrayed. Remember this and do not be shy about your own emotions.
As you learn to forgive, don't think about what you could change in the past to make it better. You still can't do anything, but negative emotions will haunt you. The past cannot be changed, but if you do not let it go, it will poison your life.
Start forgiving now
When a person comprehends forgiveness, he discovers the opportunity to live in peace and harmony with himself, to hope, dream and be happy. And, of course, he receives one of the greatest gifts - the ability to love. When a person learns to forgive, he gains complete control over his life. He becomes free.