Have you ever heard of psychosomatics, a direction in psychology and medicine that studies the relationship between our external (physical) and internal (emotional) state? Skin problems such as rashes, dryness, allergies from the point of view of psychosomatics appear because a person has an explicit or latent conflict with the inner world: self-rejection, self-dislike, and most importantly, dependence on the opinions of others. Believe it or not - it's up to you, but to stop constantly caring what others think of you is an extremely useful skill.
The greatest André Maurois, a French writer and a genius biographer, once said: “You don't need to be guided by public opinion. This is not a lighthouse, but wandering lights. " But, you must admit that in practice it is very difficult to become independent from someone else's point of view, especially if it belongs to someone close to you. Every time you think (look, behave, eat) differently from everyone else, remember the following:
1. Many people don't think about you at all.
Maybe it happened in your life that at school you went crazy for some high school student, a la Pechorin or Onegin, and thought that he despised you and hated you fiercely? But in fact, the subject of sighing did not even bother to know your name and was busy with his own business, while you diligently built illusions. We have not been at school for a long time, so it is worth accepting the truth: the majority (let me clarify, the majority of people who are adequate and satisfied with their own lives) do not even think of you in a negative light, let alone criticize you. Happy people, they are from another Universe, they do not care what they talk and talk about, and they, in turn, do not impose their opinion on others. And the rest ... and try to cut off the rest, life is too short to waste time on envious, morally immature, obsessive people.
2. Everyone has their own path.
Angelina Jolie admitted in an interview that at the beginning of her career, many acquaintances tried to prove to her that the path she had chosen was hopeless, and, according to the “well-wishers, ” she was to become “one of the second-rate actresses” who flooded Hollywood at the end of the last century. But Jolie, gritting her beautiful teeth and pursing even more beautiful lips, stood her ground. And now, I think, it is not worth listing all her merits both in the cinema and in life.
When you are in doubt about the correctness of your choice, do not completely disregard the opinion of loved ones and relatives (if you trust them, appreciate and love them), but always reserve the right to "the last vote". In this case, even if you lose, you will not blame anyone but yourself.
3. People change their minds.
The mood, thoughts, philosophy of people during their life sometimes change dramatically. There are a lot of examples: A.S. Pushkin (from a Decembrist to a moderate conservative), L.N. Tolstoy (from a nihilist to a religious hermit), J. Swift (who repeatedly changed his political views) and many, many others. Therefore, it is worth remembering that your views may not be shared until the first major victory. Alas, people tend to criticize anything that makes them mistrust, seems frivolous or too risky. Therefore, fewer words - more action: Pavel Durov's father was skeptical about his idea of creating a social network, and his parents considered Kafka a "second-rate hack". But it is worth remembering that any criticism must be answered with dignity, because people may subsequently change their minds, and your reaction will forever remain an indicator of your good manners and good manners.
4. Life lasts only a moment.
Nobody knows how much it has been measured for us. Therefore, every time you go along with someone else's opinion and do something that you really do not want, you insolently rob yourself. Another “must” ties you to the chair of everyday life with an invisible thread, and what if you can't get up later? So you will live your life in the mode "office - home - office - home - vacation every two years" and again in a circle? The worst thing is the endless groundhog day. And time flies, and in the entire history of mankind it has not spared anyone yet.
5. It is impossible to please everyone.
After listening to character A and acting in accordance with his desires, you acquired an enemy in the person of character B. Having pleased with your softness B, annoyed C. And then what is the point of pleasing someone if the number of ill-wishers does not increase at best? It's impossible for everyone to like it, and it's pretty stupid to strive for it.
The burden of public opinion is very heavy, moreover, it looks like fetters that prevent you from being free and moving forward. And it depends only on you whether to obey this machine and hang a label with a number, like in M. Zamyatin's beautiful novel "We", or to be yourself, with all the shortcomings, peculiarities and a slightly different "format".