So, you are a modern woman who is actively looking for her soul mate, including on the Internet. And so you met on the site an attractive man with whom it is interesting and easy to communicate, whose sense of humor absolutely coincides with your notions of funny and whose smile warms the soul.
And here's an unpredictable, exciting, long-awaited first date. The best dress, perfect makeup, styling - and everything in order to please him. What if this is the one and only prince! And here he is! In life, he is even better than in the photograph.
Crystal childhood dream. Cocktails, a delicious snack, you chat and laugh at ease, and it seems that time has stopped to give you the opportunity to chat longer. On the way home, you purr Mendelssohn's march and wonder what you will call your first child. But the next day he doesn't call or even write. After long hours of waiting, drilling your cell phone with your eyes and walking in circles around the computer, you can't wait any longer and you are the first to write to him. He answers rather coldly. And then disappears without a trace. Forever and ever.
You are spinning in front of the mirror “Well, how could you not like this !? So it’s not about looks. But then what went wrong? What is my fault?" Such a situation is not so rare. Numerous surveys of men about the results of the first date helped to compile a list of the seven most common female mistakes at the first meeting, due to which the chances of re-dating tend to zero.
Read, analyze, remember and remember, and try to avoid them the next time you first date.
1. Whining, complaints and boredom
Most likely, you didn't even notice it. Well, think about it, she said that in another bar the cocktails were tastier, the service was better, and the atmosphere was more sincere. Understand that complaints and tantrums do not excite anyone.
If in the course of a conversation you start to remember about a stupid neighbor, about the endless moralizing of your mother, about the tyranny of the boss, etc., he will most likely nod sympathetically, but at the same time think to himself: “If she complains about everything on the first date, then what will happen in a month. Run !!! " So remember once and for all - men don't like whiners!
2. Don't get distracted
If on a date you keep your eyes on your phone and are constantly distracted to read the news on VKontakte, share your impressions with your sister on Viber, or post your salad on Facebook, he is almost guaranteed to no longer want to have anything to do with you.
It may seem that he understands how necessary it is: to answer a call from a friend or write an SMS to a manicurist, but in fact, a person realizes that your thoughts are somewhere far away and you have anything in priority, but just not him.
This behavior is not just impolite - it openly borders on rudeness, especially on the first date. Don't give the other person a reason to think that their place is in your best interest after bathing the dog on Thursdays; they should always come first! So on a date, just like watching a play in a theater, turn off your mobile phone.
Always be on his side
Naturally, you really want to please a man and make the most favorable impression, but try to remember the meeting in detail - have you always managed to be nice and pleasant?
Maybe he was scared off by some statements from which he could refrain? If you start criticizing a man on the first date, then he will not call you on the second.
Remember this wonderful moment when it was revealed to you. He talked about his recent quarrel with his sister over her parenting style, and you couldn't think of a better way to say something like, “Well, after all, this is your sister. You must always support her! "
Or he shared his problems at work, that the boss is always nagging, and you, instead of just knowingly smiling and comforting, saying that everything will work out, began to reason and reasonably prove that it was his behavior that provoked such a reaction from the boss.
Did he even ask your opinion? And what is it more like - support or criticism?
And therein lies your huge problem, ladies. It's time to understand that men ALWAYS, and especially on the first date, always take any, even indirect criticism of anything, at their own expense. He must always be sure that you are on his side, your support is unconditional, and whatever he likes, or at least does not annoy him, you like it too.
Don't ask unnecessary questions
Lots of questions are useless. All representatives of the most beautiful half of humanity are often too curious and sometimes try directly, and often in a roundabout way, to find out as much personal information about a man as possible.
If he just mentioned his ex-girlfriend, then you start asking how long they dated, why they broke up, what kind of relationship they have now, and so on ad infinitum. Or, let's say, he briefly told that he had changed jobs. You start bombarding him with questions about what he didn’t like at his previous job, what was the salary, whether the job was interesting or was too difficult for him.
The man begins to feel like he is in a job interview.
Step into his place. Would you like to sit as if under interrogation? Therefore, never ask unnecessary questions, especially about exes, about family and about work, and in general, the fewer questions, the better!
Watch the language ... of your gestures
Don't underestimate the power of body language. What your body says non-verbally is just as important as what you say in words. Pose and gestures can tell the other person more eloquently than words that you don't like their company, even if you try to convince them otherwise. ...
Look into his eyes, move closer, smile, as if casually touch him - in general, behave lightly and relaxed.
Leave all your doubts and mental anguish at home and just enjoy the joint communication, and you will analyze later.
Funnily enough, in our time of complete equality, men are still attracted to women who display some traditionally feminine qualities. But don't misunderstand! We're not talking about funny grimaces, high heels, and tons of makeup.
By all means, be yourself.
You can wear your favorite jeans and a comfy sweater and still be incredibly feminine. Not long acrylic claws and smokies make you a woman, but well-groomed hands and face. If you drink alcohol, don't drink too much. Foul language will also not add femininity to anyone. Let him place an order - give him a chance to impress you, to court you.
A well-mannered man, of course, will offer himself to pay for dinner at a restaurant. But if for some reason he did not do it, it is pointless to try to force him to be generous. Just pay your share of the bill yourself and draw your own conclusions. Well, begging for gifts from a man on a first date is the way to go.
Do not be late!
This may come as a surprise to some, but most men hate it when a girl is late for her first date. Five to seven minutes late is permissible, but staying “just an hour”, even if you have a good reason in the form of hair that does not want to curl, means to make the man nervous and worry: “What if she doesn’t come!”. Such thoughts only cause negative emotions.
And if you have already made the man feel insecure or angry, then when you finally show up, do not be surprised if you hear sarcasm and even rudeness addressed to you. Such a small thing can ruin the whole date. If there are any real circumstances that delay you, then a call or SMS “I'll be there in 15 minutes. I don't have time. ”Will release the tension and show him that you really want to meet.
Does it remind you of anyone? Analyze your dates in accordance with these principles, and perhaps you will find answers to questions that have bothered you. More importantly, consider these male specificity tips when planning your next “first date”! Be attentive, pay attention to him, don't be overly curious, behave naturally, don't be afraid to show your femininity and don't be late!
And then the next attempt will end in complete success!