Have you ever got the impression that your words are not heeded, even though they are? As if you were broadcasting about the approach of a global flood, and the interlocutor, instead of running to the ark, calmly takes out an umbrella.
The most persuasive speakers are capable of lighting the hearts of millions with their words. But they spent years in training and also possessed a strong charisma. Suppose that you have neither years nor charisma, but only this article. And very good! After all, it is she who will help to quickly add +15 to the "public speaking".
The more important to us what we are talking about, the faster we want to release information. But ironically, the less effective our message becomes. Take any good speech. All of them were pronounced so slowly that you could write them down by hand.
How slowly do you need to speak? Speak a little faster than a smoky turtle for critical moments. For others, just speak a little slower than you think is normal. This works in two ways: firstly, a slow speech looks more convincing and solemn, and secondly, you yourself become calmer, less adrenaline is released, and you think better.
Pauses instead of "uh-uh"
Why does everyone scold the words parasites when it is so pleasant and natural to pronounce them? Teachers and parents have hammered into our heads that words-parasites are evil, and yet no one wondered where they come from? Maybe, by analogy, words-parasites can be infected by talking to bad girls?
In fact, the words parasites are just an attempt to restore harmony to speech, to delimit semantic blocks and emphasize certain points.
Instead of trying to eliminate "damn" and "uh-uh" from your conversation, just say them to yourself. Intuitively, you will tend to insert a "pancake" exactly in those places where the pause is most needed. Check it yourself: reopen the video recording of any speech and insert a "pancake" where the speaker briefly pauses.
Use awkward silence as a weapon
Every person is afraid of awkward silence, and, as you know, what we fear has power over us. Next time, if you want to be "on top" in a conversation, just stop talking. Then watch how the interlocutor begins to frantically sort out all possible topics in his head.
It is very easy to make a person follow you if you are saying something. People will do this unconsciously and can go far enough until they wake up. This trick is especially good if you are uncomfortable with a situation in which someone has struck up a conversation with you. For example, someone has spoken to you in public about a topic that you would prefer to discuss in private. Just wait for your turn to speak and walk prophetic. If you start moving somewhere while they are talking to you, it will seem that you are leaving the conversation, and the interlocutor will be indignant: “Hey, I'm talking to you!”. And if you speak, then he will have to follow you, or interrupt.
Classical rhetoric obliges to highlight especially important points in speech. But, as we promised at the beginning, we are taking a shortcut. Highlight any moments - this should also be enough. In other words, just don't speak monotonously. Here's how you can do it:
- Quieter / Louder: Speak some words quieter than others. Quiet pronunciation is more effective than loud pronunciation, because it makes the interlocutor listen, activates his attention.
- faster-slower: the speed should also not remain constant. Speak some sentences faster. The effect is the same as with fading. If, following our first tip, you speak slowly, the sudden acceleration forces the listener to actively focus on your speech.