How Russian American bloggers taught the Albanese language

Once one American Internet user under the nickname scottishtiger started his diary on livejournal and everything would be fine, but one day the guy saw an incomprehensible text in an unknown language. He, as a true American, was naturally indignant about why someone wrote on the American site in "a language he did not understand, and, in general, what kind of language it is." He was helped by the user maxxximus (apparently also an American, but considering himself more advanced), who called the "unknown" language Albanian. The next day, Russian users connected, who were outraged that they were called Albanians and asked the American, seemingly innocent question (naturally in English) "why do you think that this text was written for you?"

In response, a flash mob “Lessons of Albanian” was organized in the Russian-language part of LiveJournal, which aimed to help an American learn Russian. For a couple of days scottishtiger received several thousand comments with "Albanian lessons" and just a flood. The user was asked to apologize and write a post in his journal in Russian that he had already learned the Albanian language, which he finally did.

Subsequently, the poor American deleted his account altogether.

And the phrase "Learn Albanian (or Albanian) has gone to the people and is now most often used in relation to persons who have a poor command of the language, or ignoramuses. In addition, one of the Internet slangs is called" Albanian "or" yazik padonkaff ", with spelling deliberately incorrect spelling words (author, potsreot, let's meet).

By the way, at the moment, the scottishtiger blog has been restored by the old owner, although it started from scratch (that is, all old entries have been deleted).

Madonna was also encouraged to learn "Albanian" after she, using a translator program, greeted her Russian fans, calling them "fans" (English fan - fan / fan, fan / fan).

I cannot read that text.

Of course, you can't. You bet you could. Then I would suspect you of a spy. But you can't. Don’t hate Russian lessons at school! Here you are not here, they don’t go to someone else’s LJ with their dog’s language!

And in general, while you are looking at the photographs here, your shameless compatriots brazenly rattle their weapons and support world imperialism. And you - of course - FSUs. Photos are more interesting for you.

I knew I should have been a translator, after all.

Yes, buddy, here you are right. You were born in the wrong country. But you have a chance. Repent, forgiveness will come to you :))

Please speak English. I know you that you are bi-lingual. After all, aren't ALL foreigners?

Foriners? No, buddy, it's you on the way here foriner. It’s in America that you are used to thinking that there is America, and everyone around is foriners and backward people, they eat bears and balalaikas stuffed with red caviar they walk the streets. But the Roo people, unlike you you know what, the people with the richest culture, history and advanced whores, so I would think about foreigners again.


Thank you for proving my point! Now tell me, what is this language they are speaking ?! And can you be a translator, please?

this is Albanian, i am only guessing what the fuck they are talking about

something about how they were using new drugs or smthing

How did two english-speaking folks (you and I) end up here, then? And Albanian women are kind of hot.

i am Russian, who was living in London for 6 years

i've found it in the FRIENDS mode

ALBANIAN not bad))

Albanian women really hot.

But ... they never give to amricans.

So you have to f * ck your american woman-kinda fat shit.

In contrast to american, huh;)

They are kinda not for you, pindos = P


# transplanting flower crops, preparing potting mixes

# regular monitoring of the condition, maintenance, watering maps, etc.

go to the garden

the massive pilgrimage began ...

advertising is right there

awesome !! A worthy answer to the American man !! history will not forget you))

this is Albanian ... - and away we go: D

Fuck, even this comment was already 3 (!!!) years ago.

Have we been called bi-linvists? Himself bisexual!

How do you know that we are bi?

With all due respect - this is a Russian post, in a Russian journal. Since you speak Russian - which is quite clear - maybe it is you who ought to honor both the owner of this journal and those visitng it and use the language they share?

And no, not everyone knows English - or wishes to speak it here.

translator won`t help u, becouse Albanian is a very secret language, there are no translators, which can read it!

but if somehow u will, our Great God will punish u and all of ur relatives !!

you are a real dolboyob, fucking american peedor

got it, bitch?

oinimagu! %)


It’s a very smart idea to insult a person because he doesn’t know Russian. Do you know Chinese? Or is your dislike due to the fact that he lives better than the Russians? It also indicates the highest level of your intelligence.

Close your mouth and don’t puss, or you’ll get a fucking pan with a frying pan!

Russians, mlyn ... The American was attacked, he is also not a flower, but swear at least competently!

Indeed, it is somehow disgusting that it has become fashionable to slander Americans in particular ... First you have to work on yourself, and only then slander others. Look, how do these Pindos live? And how do we live? I think that it is pointless to compare, because so we are faced with this every day.

It's a shame for the state ...

yes no .. it was just that he definitely didn’t like his impudence and the word “foreigner” .. I would have killed myself for this ... that's a vivid example of one hundred percent chauvinism

i know chinese!

and, by the way, I don’t crap in any Chinese forums, blogs, chats, what is it they write there with squiggles.

and in the American I do not write.

and even in Albanian, although it would seem

Anonymous is worse than a fagot. Everybody knows.

Pyrmatirta makengurtam zupus dyblala! Is USA goognekuts dimmarda?

and then REAL Albanian boys joined!


why do you think this text was written for you?

Because? It's LIVEJOURNAL. An American website. Not an albanian; (# *! @ ()! site.

Plus, being an American means that the rest of the world should have to cater to me. But that's just mypointofview.

You even can't imagine how wrong you are

Huyase, in general, American muzzles were swollen, a dick came from the mountain, decided that he was in charge and began to build everyone. He wanted to fucking Albanian women. You haven’t received anything from us for Yugoslavia yet, you militarists.

And you were touched, apparently, to the quick ... Apparently, your dacha in Kosovo was bombed or offended for the brothers of the Slavs? ;-)

Yeah, the damned pendosy trampled all the parsley for him with their boots in the garden in Pristina.

smoked cannabis ... suuuuki ... this AB will not forgive anyone ...

And I will also remember vietnam :)

Don't forget about Korea too! There was also Honduras, Nicaragua, Panama ... And so, little things, all sorts of dirty tricks: Iraq, Afghanistan.

But what about Grenada?

And the millions of Indians killed? Plantation niggas? The overthrow of Allende in Chile? Only 2 nuclear bombs for Japan (it should have been at least 50)! Alaska, bitches, bought cheap. At McDonald's, the positions are small!

Coca-Cola is under-fed! Windows russify badly! What about American English? And how are Levis jeans getting more expensive? and how they zadolbali with their conditional dollar!

Freedom for Goldie Meyer !!!

Yes, you are absolutely right. And every Albanian girl eager to suck Americain dick for free, because, America definitely rules the world. When typical Albanian girl meets US resident, she turns into hot dripping wet bitch, so hot Albaniah fags do (choose your preference).

You're allowed and welcomed everythere and in every hole with your dick and citizenship in America, I pledge my word!

I did not understand anything from what you wrote. Come on in Russian.

I almost pissed off when I read the comments !!!!!!

oooooy .. I'll burst ...

Unfortunately, you will pay for this.


Livejournal is international site.

Internet is world web ...

P.S. it's not albanian. It's russian. ^ _ ^

that's a shitty point of view, mate ... here is my recommendation: get your crap together and learn Albanian, bitch!

LiveJournal was developed by Russian-Speaking jews from Israel!

tyyyyy whoeeeeee ????????????

AHUEL ????? GOAT??????

you a creature has not been fought in the ass for a long time ?????????????

wanted extreme ????

have you any idea where Russia is? may be you think it is somewhere, where bears and dragons live, in the middle of australia (what is the same with austria, you know)

Were you a freak at school? studied geography? You know, besides America, there are a few other people? If not, then it's your difficulties. I'm sorry for you.

so, this resource belongs to a Russian company, but that's not all. There is a national segments. It is time to forget that america only country in the world.

Learn albanian, motherfucker!

Yankee go home!

Bruises you

After all here, did u realized that it's not polite to ask people to translate their private talks for you?

It makes no apology to them for all that jokes they assailed you with. But ... if you are really wise and enlightened man, you'll excuse them and smile, because ... a lot of people had great fun replying you post and were happy! :))))))))))


and how is it going with Albanian? Do you still cannot read that text?

I was in the legendary thread!))

And ya was here !!

I will also leave my mark here. Viva la resistance!

Here it is, living History.

purely for the sake of form, I will also be noted in the epic thread.

you have destroyed the Russian language !!!

I think I upset a group of Albanian terrorists

Albania sucks. Seriously. No one has ever even heard of Albania up until now. You're probably smaller than one of our fifty states and I imagine a group of rabid gnomes could destroy your entire ... country.

Yes, you are right. If you want to live, urgently post the following entry in your journal: "I've already learned Albanian, whores!"

Please, I am an American soldier. A memember of an army of ONE. I can take on your entire country at the same time. Unarmed.

Tough american soldiers (as you guys show in your movies) never say words like 'please'. It sound like you're just a scared little pussy, who wouldn't survive a week in Albania on his own.

Please, I wouldn't want to be in Albania for a week, "on my own." I'd definitely have to find some female Albanian attention, knock her up, then fly back home.

You are a country of malnourished liberal bitches. I could tear you limb for limb with my legs tied behind my back, you commy bastard. Now "please, " shut the fuck up. Kindly.

If not the Albania, Russia would has no chances to win, and you know it quite well

Yeah, right. Haha. Albania has nothing but women. How did you guys even post on LiveJournal? You don't even have computers yet, do you? We haven't even liberated your country yet. I think you're right after Cuba on the list.

Foreigners are so fucking stupid, no offense. That's why we're # 1.

To show the map of Great Albania in the place of Juska and Canada, the question follows:

Why the hell would you take Canada before Mexico ..?

Then there are reflections on geopolitics:

It's not that I think I'm THAT MUCH better than Albanians. It's just that I thought being from a third world country and all, you would have a willingness to serve me, since I am an American. And that you would be used to it by now.

Oh well, maybe when we're done liberating Iraq, we can make a detour to Albania on our way home. After all. "Al" -bania appears to be awful similiar to "Al" -qaeda.

You bastard, c'mon to our homeland Albania and we'll kick your ass! Vote for Wesley Clark and he'll show you the most efficient way to waste several thousands of your brave marines in Kosovo ;-)

if I come to kosovo, I am afraid that I will strip all of you of your internet-usage rights, then rape your women until the Albanian children are pure americans.

I worked at Kosovo and killed 23 american soldiers. And it was fun.

Cmon, fat stupid yankees, welcome to albanian hell!

Yeah, right. Never happened. Do you have any idea how many times a single American soldier would kill you before you hit the ground, if you even so much as presented a weapon within a hundred yards of him?

And what about justice? Presenting a weapon from 90 meters is a reason to kill?

If you aren't an American, yes. It's more than enough reason.

why you can`t defent yourself against Ben Laden? :))))

The last time I checked, he was dead. As was the rest of the arab terrorists.

In some 5-15 years China will be the third player on the world market, amazing thing will come true, you'll see. If you are lucky enough not to meet any Iraqui bullets

And without us, China wouldn't be able to exist. We supply them with all of their money. Their cheap labor supplies us with luxury.

Your computer made in china, u, stupid bastard!

No, it was actually made in my garage. By me.

U start it. U ask to learn english in albanian LJ


No one has ever even heard of Albania, why would someone waste their time learning their broken language?

“Russia, shut the fuck up. You aren't shit. We broke your asses in the cold war. Your government crumbled. Your family is starving. Your women sell themselves on the street to support the lazy Russian men who won't work. You sell your own children on the street as sex slaves, and yet you show distraught when those same precious children are killed by terrorists. Personally I find you disgusting, and I feel as if you deserve everything that has happened to you.

I understand that since you are starving, you are rather envious of Americans, who are not skeletal. And call us fat. Because we can afford to feed our families. There is a reason we are on the top. And it isn't because we are lazy or fat. It is because we are superior.

And your government can't even protect you from terrorists. They sit back as they rape your women and slaughter your children in their own schools and theaters. You fucking disgust me, you weak-minded lamers.

You realize that if we wanted you dead, we could level your entire continent in a matter of hours, right? Thank you and shut the fuck up.

Edit; and you're racist sons of bitches who honestly believe that skin color means something? That's something you don't realize about America. We are not one race. We are many races. Including Russians and Albanians. You are narrow-minded and facists. You should have surrendered to the nazis after all. "